it's been a while

It has been a VERY long time since I've been on here. A fellow teacher has a blog and has been updating rather frequently - making me compelled to make a small posting update. In any case, I love the third grade teachers I work with. I truly believe that if it wasn't for them and the Divine Appointment of God placing me where I currently am - I would have quit teaching and called it a "mistake" and "what the heck was I thinking?" categories. Wellllll.... I still have reservations in making the crazy career jump but for now - AT & EM are a BLESSING each and every day. AND that is an understatement. I hope they know how much I am so happy to be part of their team and how much they keep me alive and sane day to day. They are truly magnificent teachers.

What am I up to today? Trying to relax. Rather hard when all of a sudden you have anxiety attacks. Planning things happens to elevate the situation so I try not to plan - for the most part - and live the "go with the flow" theme. I used to be really good at that. I used to be able to sleep without waking up in a terror if I forgot to make copies for my students. I used to not worry about a kid and why they are not understanding that when you make a trip you have to go to the destination and then back! I used to be more relaxed and less anal. I used to be fun. Now I am dull and a worrier wart. No wonder I'm single. ta hahahahahah.....DUDE. Being a teacher has made me a mess. I've obtained issues I've never thought I had! I guess being a teacher brings out the dormant villans from your insides so that you can feel oh so much better about yourself. Doesn't this just makes you want to become a teacher too? So, what is my "plan" to not plan? Breathe....and take it slow....disregarding time - so if I am late....my apologies...but I'm trying to relax so chill the popsicle out and go ahead without me - I fear that I may faint if you put pressure on me by giving me a timeline. I realize I get an attack too if someone tells me a problem and I really want to fix it for them but I have no authority to nor do I even know what to say to make them feel better. I can't breathe, start to convulse, and need to sit down. And you thought YOU had issues? welcome to my world.