slow to speak.

"be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger..."

there are many moments of each day that i doubt the positive good things i spew out to my kids. there are many times that i hard core lecture them about right from wrong. my voice elevates to an extremely loud tone at them and i can feel my blood pressure start to rise. many times i must tell myself - "calm down/chill out" - but it's not until after my elongated speech has already commenced. in the moment, it's hard to stop yourself. in the moment, all you want is for them to realize the degree of importance on how poor choice can lead to unwanted consequences. in the moment, you forget that perhaps what comes from your mouth could kill their spirit or maim them for life. could i just be dramatizing it? perhaps. but my intentions would never want for anything negative to impact their lives because of what i said in the heat of a moment. i worry about this daily. how far do i take it? when should i hold back? what should i let go? should i pull them aside and apologize? should i ease up? i love these kids...and to know that i could possibly be damaging their lives instead of lifting it frightens me to death. you've got to know that i have the best intentions at heart for each and everyone of them. they've got to know that. they've got to realize it. i've got to remember they are just kids, but they have such a long life in front of them - a life that they can choose to be whatever they want it to be. everything is a choice. it comes down to the choices. these choices will shape who they are. i hope they know that.

my prayer - given to me by a fellow sister in Christ:

"let the words that are from You be heard and let the words that hurt be forgotten"

help me be slow to speak......be slow to speak...