don't you just feel like giving up sometimes? i mean....there just comes a point where you are like, "what is the use and why am i still here?" i felt like that on friday. not suicidal - though it sure sounds like it - but i was thinking, "LORD! why am i still here...can i just be taken up to heaven now? i really wouldn't mind going right about now." it's one of those low moments you sink into because you find yourself in a pit and wallowing in it. you think, man! what's the purpose of my life? why can't i leave this world of pain? but i know why i am here, i have a dang purpose to fulfill and i haven't carried it out, whatever it may be. in any case, what i learned today and what i have come to grips with is that i am in - what pastor bellamy calls - 'God's training camp.' The boot camp called life: where we are put through trials and pains to help build our character through a process called discipline. i am being disciplined as i have been disciplining my 18 kids. not out of hatred or punishment but out of love and for the best interest in their lives. this is not a happy thing ...sometimes [most of the time] it is painful yet necessary to help mold what is good and beneficial in my eyes. that's what the Lord is doing but on a much higher and more perfect level - as what HE sees is significantly better than what i can see. sigh....long story short...i am back on track and ready to rumble...bring it on....no pain. no gain.
hebrews 12:1-13 [you got some time? read this for reflection and marinate in it.]
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