epiphany.

I am reading a book "Go girl" by Marlee LeDai given to me by my best friend a WHILE back. Disregard the lame title [as it took me about half a year to do] and crack it open, you will find that this book is full of inspirational travelers among the leading ladies in history. Ladies who took the initiative to travel to foreign lands where their hearts would feverishly beat in them not resting until they moved, literally.

Friends and family have kindly been praising me for my love and "courage" to go and help others. I appreciate their love and it helps build a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside of me but what I am doing is child's play next to Mother Theresa, Gertrude Bell, Mary Henrietta Kingsley, Harriet Chalmers Adams and Christine Gelman. It is Christine's story that puts into perspective of what life's purpose is all about. Surrounded by war conflict in Liberia, Christine felt the Lord calling her to help the children of Africa who were led by rebel troops when they invaded their Village. They took these children on a ten hour trek through swamps and marshes - living on only one tablespoon of rice per day - only to be returned to their once haven Village. Now unrecognizable from the rebel troops pilgrimage through their home, orphanage founder, Ed Kofi, cried for help of women volunteers to come. This need took precedence over food and money in order to restore hope into the children's heart. ALL they need is love and nurture through hugs and kisses in a time of pain and grief. Story after story it's tear-jerking and mind boggling to see how much this world is in pain. I immediately feel remorse in the puny feeble things I am praying for, focusing on the things of this world when this world will inevitable perish with all things in it. My desire? To fight the battle of my flesh. To understand and remember what is of importance and what is not. "All places are alike to me because I expect to find God everywhere, who is the only object of all my desires." -St. Therese Couderc

I understand there is everyday realities that holds us accountable to jobs. There are things that we MUST do out of obligation for living purposes but I can't let it overcome what I know to be of more importance: love. Loving life enough to touch a soul and if I am blessed enough, to save a soul by introducing them to Jesus Christ. I am pumped up more than ever to live this life in concordance to God's will: be whatever it may lead me. I know where I will be if my life is to end, that in and of itself should clear most of my fear. Help me remember what is of importance. Help me remember.

** What I do worry about is my family. Will they understand? I would seem crazy or even considered selfish in not thinking about how they would feel in losing a daughter/sister. The thing is that I do - more than they ever know on a daily basis. BUT how can I explain something they don't believe? Would that make it any easier? Would it help in the "why" department? Sigh, in Luke 14:26, it states the cost of being a disciple - and - I rest my hopes in Acts 17:31. **